Coping With Separation
After getting used to being in a twosome, coping with separation can feel quite
lonesome. Whether it was caused by physical distance (i.e. military service, long term travels, relocation for
work) or emotional distance (i.e. marital problems), the end results are feelings of isolation that can be
difficult to deal with. Marital problems can intensify these feelings especially because neither partner knows
whether the best solution is reconciliation or divorce. Fortunately, there are steps that you can take to make
coping with separation more bearable.
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Social Needs
For most
couples, your spouse has been your best friend and the person you socialize with most. While coping with
separation, you will need to find a new way to meet your social needs. Now would be a good time to reach out to
your friends for support, especially if you spend most of your time at home caring for children. It is perfectly
acceptable to find a babysitter while you catch up with a good friend. This is a great opportunity for you to talk
about your frustrations. It may even help you escape your feelings of loneliness for a few hours.
Getting Perspective
For couples dealing with marital problems, coping with separation can mean getting
the necessary space to reflect on the relationship and work through hurt feelings. Proximity can actually make it
more difficult to mend a broken relationship because you may continue to argue and tear each other down. If you are
coping with separation, use the time to evaluate the relationship from a new perspective. Think through the reasons
you got married in the first place. You may gain clarity in the process that will allow you to prepare to come back
to the relationship.
Helping the Children
If there are children involved, it is important to talk openly and honestly with them
as they may be having a hard time coping with separation too. Some kids worry that if parents can leave each other,
they might also leave their children. Address these fears with your kids and remind them that you will always be
there for them. Reassure them that both parents still love them just as much by spending time with them.
Coping with separation can be
extremely overwhelming at times. Reaching out to friends for support and
spending time alone to gain a new perspective are ways that can help you cope. Your children are also
coping in their own way, so help them in any way you can. And remember, separation does not always end in
divorce. By following these steps, you can make coping with separation easier to deal with and pave the way
for a positive outcome.
 Tired of coping with separation?
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